Monday, April 10, 2006

Who am I? The older I get the more I feel I lose my identity. I used to have such high hopes and big dreams but the more time that passes, the more reality sinks in. I will never travel the world, my paintings will never grace the walls of great galleries, I will never direct a box office hit or an award worthy play. Don't get me wrong, I love my life, it is the life I have chosen but you just reach a certain point in life and realize that maybe God has something else in store for you. I don't know if I am on the right path or not, I am on the straight and narrow path that has been well traveled, I am not the adventurer that I once was, the dreams become smaller and more atainable but I still ask myself what I am contributing to society? I don't know what I will be doing in ten years so I don't know if I am doing the right things to get there, I used to think I would save the world. I don't feel that I am living up to my potential in my work or in my faith, and to be honest, I am not sure that I am even trying, I do the minimum that is required to merely get by. I don't know if I am a good person, what if I am doing everything wrong, that is what I constantly pray about. Do I touch peoples lives? Probably not. Do I spread joy? I try. So I am still left with the question, who am I? I know the obvious, I am a Christian, a mother, a wife, a daughter, a grand daughter, a friend, and a fighter, but am I good at any of it? I am a jack of all trades and a master of none. Who am I?


Blogger wolfpox said...

Do you not know the answer, or are you just not content with it?

11:39 PM  
Blogger yellow_moosebumps said...

I don't know, I know who I try to be but I don't know if I come across the same way. I am more than content with my life, I am just in a rut right now.

8:35 PM  
Blogger wolfpox said...

Everyone is born with a purpose and obstacles; they're both internal, and the struggle between them is what difines you.

For myself, I am an idealistic philosopher who struggles with self-pity, arrogance, and being inconsiderate. I might be a receiver at some store, a brother, a son, and an awesome blog writer, but the real core of my being is the conflict between my good and bad qualities. If you can identify your purpose and your obstacles, and where they meet, I think you will know who you are.

It sounds like you are concerned that you're not fulfilling your purpose in life, and that's something everyone struggles with. My advice is to do what you can, no matter how small, and have faith in God's plan.

2:47 PM  
Blogger wolfpox said...

* I meant to say "defines" not "difines"

2:48 PM  
Blogger Jim said...

Well, I figured it out. You are a 'Green Eyed Lady.' I'll write that down and go get the lyrics, maybe Monday.

Have you read 'The Purpose Driven Life' by Rick Warren. We did a study of it in our church. It helped me some, it might you.

We are back from vacation, maybe you know. Someone near Plano is reading my blogs, if not you, it might be Elise.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Jim said...

Are you still around? It's been 20 days now since the green eyed post.
You are missed.

1:15 AM  

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